December 27, 2009

  • Blessed by an Introduction

         Over the last couple of weeks I have returned back to a church that I have not attended for a few years. Why? I don't want to go into due to I don't want to discourage people anymore from churches. Some think I'm crazy for returning. Yet, that is where God's forgiveness becomes real in living life. God forgives me and we are suppose to be like Him.

          There is a new Pastor there for aprox. a year. A neighbor that I had encouraged for years to come when I lived nearby the church found me as I walking out. She had been visiting once in awhile over the few years but had not seen me. She was told me she had been praying to see me again as I moved aprox. 5 years from that apartment complex where we were neighbors at. Over time, phone numbers can be lost.

         She was the one that introduced me to this new Pastor. What she said about brought tears to my eyes. I had tried to keep why I left quiet for the most part there. Yet, the ones involved knew. Yet, forgiveness has to be the forefront in my mind there. Each stray thought that is not about forgiveness must be rebuked/kicked out of my head.

          Setting an appointment time later, the Pastor, his wife, and I met to talk. They welcomed me back.  I shared the past without names to them.  Again, that is part of forgiveness. I had not joined another church in that time due to knowing that some of these members could spread rumors if I became active again. I realized for me to go on, I must confront the past and the enemy's work there. Humans are pawns.

          My Grandmother told me at a early age and kept telling me till she died in my 20's that there is a difference between a church and God. I did not step back from God due to my personal study and worship continued. While I stepped back it was a time to learn more and heal.

         Over the my lifetime, I have been referred to as a "rock" many times due to what abuse I have been able to withstand from people by those who witness it but stand there doing nothing about it. After it worst blows over, people come up and say nice things. Again, forgiveness has been building over time in my life in many ways. I'm thrilled to be a witness to people in what God can do, yet these attacks since childhood in various ways does leave wounds to scars. I'm not a rock.  God can heal. Yet, we have to let Him. The past attacks/battles have grown more interesting over time as I stand up for a person, people, or issues/values/etc.

         Stepping away has its own pitfalls which is another topic to write about. Yet, the ministry and people encouraged while I was there had continued in ways as a neighbor from the past encouraged me by an introduction I was not expecting. It was words I would not have said about myself verbally to another. It was a blessing. She recognized me for sure by my braid I wore then. In the last few years, I have worn a bun more than another style and almost did it that day. Yet, I changed it to a braid. Both of our prayers were answered that Sunday as we were both encouraged. God is good even during interesting times.