One should look forward due to looking back slows you down. Yet, there are times to slow down and look back to learn from past mistakes so they will not be repeated. It is amazing learning from another can prevent us making the same. Haste can make waste. Looking both ways before crossing continues to be a lesson to learn even as an adult in areas. Prayer is a way to look!

     Patience is more than just a word but an action, an attitude, and a life.

    When a person shows up to a door  or meet in a place, you may never know the  timing or events going on in others lives. You may not know what they are thinking and what  your presence can represent.  It is good to be able to encourage another.  We never know what the next hour or minute may hold for us or another. We may think we do but we do not know for sure.

     Moments of frustration attack when several circles of life are messed with in ways. In ways, I keep various friends in circles of their own due to the lack of them to accept another at one time and place. It would be nice of all could love each other like a big happy family but we know from our own families in ways it is not always a happy place despite plastic smiles that can be put on faces in pictures.

     Jesus wants us to love our enemies and from living life we know that means actions not empty words. Jealousy has this way of destroying so much between people even they only see the tiny part of a picture so much larger than themselves or what we can even fathom. God has a picture from the beginning to the end which spans untold generations plus into the future.

     If I had life all figured out with age old questions answered, then their would be no faith needed. TV or movies love to have a question answered or event settled at the end of the show. The more shows we watch of this sort the more we may desire our life to become such a nice and neat order like them.  Truth is, it is not the way human life goes.

     Cause? How much time I spend in the Word of God verses TV? What is more important in my life? Actions of how much time I spend with each reveals the place of value in my life? Seeking Jesus in His Word, prayer, or study can affect ones life in the way it is viewed. Yet, it takes more than just that due to I can study hard in school and learn so much. It boils back down to an active relationship with Jesus. Romans 12:1-2 with a renewing of my mind in the Word to grow with follow through actions.

     Yet is more than just knowledge due to devil has knowledge of God. Knowledge is more about religion. Relationship is the key with Jesus that is active which gives the hope and changes life. It is my choice to develope this relationship or stall in its growth. My choice and freewill in my choice of time I spend in developing a relationship with Jesus or the world's way of thinking about my selfish self.

     When I get frustrated it becomes a warning sign of where I spend my time. In which direction have I renewed my mind?  Where is my hope and love for those in my circles. The time in prayer for those I know and will know? What I do with my time affects my friends and the circles of my life. It affects more than I know at the time. Frustration can hinder my relationships with others which I find can have a ripple effect. I chose to live in victory not defeat. Jesus is my strength and gives the peace and hope to love those that may not be as easy to love. Hope is priceless.

     I ran across a man who claimed to be a Pastor yesterday. He talked a bit about his church and the perks of being a Pastor. I have heard and been around it before. Yet, he seemed to be blind about what he suppose to be doing. He braggs about position and power. He did on not once invite me or the ones standing near me to worship there. Not one word about who Jesus is but all about him. HE was a witness alright.

     Did he not even realize who he was talking to? People who need to hear about the loving and saving message of our Lord Jesus? I was around one who had little to do with church but the attitude of this "Pastor" drove this person's point home as to why they stay away from church. I sadly saw their point and it presented itself in neon flashing lights of action of this "Pastor". The one I was with just had a conversation about Jesus, lifestyles and church. I was excited at first of what this encounter could become. Yet turned into being ashamed of what I claimed to be a part of being called a "Christian" and some churches today. I'm not ashamed of Jesus Christ. There is a difference. I have been that way more than once as I'm with friends that have different thoughts when exposed to people we meet in passing. Dealing with these type of situations can fill ones life and more words than a book could hold.

    Afterwards, praying before I spoke, I tried to speak that we are not all the same with them agreeing well with this point.  What is faith? What do we represent to those around us? Are we blind to the harvest before us? Is the church or leaders of the church deaf to the Holy Spirit leading them? Do they even know His voice? There are a lot of voices out there but do they know Shepherd's voice? His sheep are to know His voice, otherwise what are we? Wake up church and those who lead them, especially! A time is coming in death we will humbly stand before Jesus to give account for our life and actions which can put me on my knees in my own life with the need of forgiveness in what I do.

     As one becomes older an onset of Dementia can occur. It can vary so much with different ones. Yet, it strips the fakeness of a person for all to see who they truly are. Words and actions without filters spring forth in abundance. Ones past and history in ways become known as they live out their past years.

     I have seen men and women who were raised to be polite as children continue to be polite and kind due to it was how they were raised is who they become. Yet, with others, the filter that prevented curse words is removed from others raised in or around  different enviroments.

     Dementia strips one to the heart of who they are due to lack of filters in place. At times if that ever be the case in years to come with me which part of me will be the strongest part to show? What makes the biggest difference who we are alone or the influence of those we are around? Or, is it our thoughtlife throughout the years becoming known to all?

     A beautiful memory of my Grandmothers that could continue to pray like they had before Dementia ever set in despite that state of Dementia that grew. Beautiful hearts of women that shown brightly till their last breaths. What a challenge they leave before me to be. Sincere love for Jesus that was not taken from them despite normal thought functions left. What an amazing witness to me and those that knew!

     Listening to a grieving friend share about how his young cousin was found left injured in a ditch at night is something you do for a friend who needs to talk. It was nice that they waited the for family to arrive from out of state for what happened next in the hospital and then the funeral. Once in the his young cousin's intoxicated body was thrown in a ditch nobody that loved him was able to talk with him next due to his medical condition of unresponsiveness.

     Despite my friend's tight finances he made the trip to see his young cousin with the focus on his mind to share one last time about Jesus Christ to come into his life to make a difference. To share with one who is declared brain dead is a state few of us humans know about of how much is heard by the patient. Yet, for my friends peace of mind he must share one more time. My friend looking at his cousins social website discovered in written words he listed himself as an atheist. How many times since he started living for Jesus with with sincerity with the change it made in his life as a walking witness to his cousin's family when the boy was a young teenager? Yet, the friend in ways was made fun of for his change of lifestyle with no more drinking alcohol as on of the changes made years ago.

     The young man was in the prime of his age in health as his family agreed to donate his body parts to be used by others. The family has since recieved word that many people were helped by the the donation. There are parts of this body living on to help others which gives comfort to the family. Yet, my friend still grieves for his cousins soul that denied Jesus in his lifetime on this earth. Yet, a soul can not be donated as it is truly one persons being that is theirs to chose who they want to serve in this lifetime. To chose to reject there is any God is a strong choice to make.

     There is a time to listen and a time to talk when comforting a friend during a loss such as this. In time to give my friend some comfort, I was able to share that he was not there in the last minutes with this young cousin. This boy grew up going to church and knows God is there to call on in the time of need. How do we not know this young man did not call upon the Lord Jesus to help him out of this situation he had gotten himself into?

     God does listen to our prayers. Yet, God does allow each one freewill to chose. We are not robots. There is so much individualism and so many ways of thinking out there to chose from in this world with our freewill. Praise the Lord as He give us promises in His Holy Word to stand on!!! Praise the Lord for the choice of donation to be able to help so many others! Yet, your soul is unable to be donated as it is yours to chose with freewill to chose what to believe and act upon in this life time that can affect all eternity.

    This last 12+ months has been a challenge in the area of forgiveness on many fronts. It has been a challenge to love people much less trust them. Yet, the only reason I have the ability to forgive is by the example in ways of how God forgives me in my life. Nobody is perfect!!! One can appear "good" to many but there is still a thought life that is bare before God for Him to see our motives in our hearts.  He has a higher degree of looking into our lives than humans.

     I want this blog to be encouraging so I don't want to list things that have gone on due to I don't want to dwell on the negative. Besides, dwelling on it in my mind, talking or writing about it just gives it more room in my life. Life is too short to be negative. Trust me, it has been a challenge to what I have talked about living during my lifetime and to actually do it. Focussing on the negative can be miserable to me and those that have to be around me for whatever the reason at times.  Yet, it does not mean I will not share at times in the future to share a lesson I'm learning. Learning is continual. I find out at times, I have to repeat a lessons in life over the years to due it appears like I forget them at times. Wait!!! I'm too young for senilty onset!!!

     Yet, I have learned many lessons from what has happened like I have learned in my past. For example, the Holy Bible in the Old and New Testament gives us plenty examples of people messing up but moving on. The beauty of forgiveness rings out over and over. In their mistakes it can teach us so much! I prefer to learn from others mistakes due to it is less painful that way verses making them yourself. Yet, sometimes it takes us making them to really learn the lesson and burn it into to us to really learn it to apply it for the future.

     Lifetime on earth is short compared to all eternity! Yes, many believe all we have is this life without eternity. So, if one believes that then how we live is that much more important. 

     Yes, I have my moments or hours or maybe a day or so that I may struggle in living with forgiveness of things that have gone on. Praise the Lord I can push back into living a life with forgiveness it in. When you forgive people for doing interesting things to you, it sorta freaks them out, too. Some just don't know what to do if you are not going to get even with them. Or, they can consider you weak.  If they consider one weak for forgiving, they don't understand the strength it takes do it and stay in it without reacting negative back. It is a challenge.  Stength comes from the Lord. Yet, it is my choice whether I depend on my strength or seek the Lord.  It is a constant choice due to our thought life can become actions before we realize it. There is such a battle in our mind at times. Romans 12 is one of my favorite chapters with such a challenge.