My last post was in March? Really? Life goes so fast with so many things filling it. Yet, when it comes down to it we/I am the one that chooses the priorities of things by what I chose to do.  Yet, with Xanga, sometimes I may not know what to write or say. Sometimes, I learn what I am thinking in the process of something in life will change.

     How many times do I think I see the big picture only to find out I see so very little of it. We are all in that point at times not even realizing it. Age has a way letting you see the bigger picture. I still have years to go compared to some so how much more will I understand in 20 years? As age passes we can see what is truly more important that what we could have thought of at the time.

     How many when they have death staring them in the face realize what is important in life? Eternity takes on a whole new priority. I had a chance to answer that a few years back when my body was hit by a full size Chevy truck at basically road speed. Instead of stiffening up, I relaxed with peace at the thought of going to Heaven. Yet, I did not go as God restored my ability in His Healing it in the process of months to come.  Yet, what have I done with these extra years to my life since? My thought before being struck was that I was His since the age of seven.  Do I still live each day since putting Jesus first? How many times can one get distracted? Praise the Lord! He forgives!!!! He is there waiting for us to return to. We have till our time is finished here.

    The greater potential of reaching out to people are hurting and the ability to encourage can be a blessing to be in that location. Yet, when it is making a difference the enemy of the Lord Jesus may not be too pleased you are there walking God's plan for your life. Yet, so many times we can want to back up and get out of the heat. Sometimes, the desire to quit is there but if the peace is not there to quit, we must move on in faith.

     How many people today and in centuries past have stood in faith in situations far more difficult than I can imagine. Mine are simple or those I am around that can be going through situations in comparisions.  Yet, at the time it may not feel like it. Yet, the older I become the more interesting life can be compared to years past. I think back and go it was even simple in my own life years ago. Yet, they all build our faith as James 1 and the whole book of James encourages us.

     Yet, walking through these battles in life builds faith and greater the blessing to come.  We can look forward to what God is going to do in our lives next as we continue in faith in Him. We can't give up or back up. Last week I heard a message that was very sobering about backing up in life.  Yet, we can be so close to just wanting to quit in a part of life where the battle is raging but we can't. As we sincerely seek Jesus, He will give us strength to continue.  He sees the big picture we do not.

     Praise the Lord for Sunday night when victory in an ongoing battle for two years in life was wrapped up. Yet, in life, we continue to walk in faith on this path.  I know in a few years I get a new location which will come with it's own battles. I want to leave in God's timing not because I gave up.  Victory in Jesus!!!

     How many times I have prayed to God to help me in a situation? Yet, then I turn around to a person afterwards up to minutes to months afterwards to continue to speak about how bad the situation is I prayed about. When I speak that way, did I even believe God would do anything about it? I just started spouting off all kinds of unbelief. I talk about faith but did I apply it? Did I believe God listened to my prayer and was going to help? Did I even give it a chance to work before I started spouting off disbelief?

     Why do I start spouting off disbelief at times? Sadly, it can because I want to fit in with others as they complain about things. If I am happy or speak positively about things do you realize how it can get on people's nerves? In turn, they can chose just to have fun to try to make your life more miserable to you can be miserable like they are. If I complain, I fit in with the negative world that has faith in what?????

     I can say I have faith but do I truly apply it? It is just talk? Actions in faith include watching my words and attitudes. James 3 talks about the danger of the tongue and the trouble it can cause despite being so little. Even the whole book of James talks about endurance, faith with works, how we treat people, healing, and not doubting due to double minded man gets nothing because of unbelief. I have faith but do I truly apply it? Is it just something I talk about or sincerely use?

     My mouth in verbal or written form displays to all if I have apply the faith I have. I can not blame anybody but myself? It is my chose to apply my faith or doubt. People can see by my own words if I apply my faith or not? 

     Instead of blogging, I tend to write personal notes to people in life through email. As I write these notes, I realize part of these notes could so easily become a post to my blog. Even if I write a message to people I see that it could have been a blog verses a message.

     Yet, when I write a note to a person I see and know in ways my intended audience of one. It is easier to write for me in this way. I have countless pages of letters to people that could be posted in ways but I can't due to it would be invading something personal to another. I finished writing an email letter to one tonight and just wanted to go to bed. I was written out.

     Yet, a post to a blog is writing to unknown how many people that can be assessed 24/7 or even found in a search engine. I guess there is a time to write a letter to somebody and a time to post. When I am not posting, I am writing letters to people mostly email letters due to it can save in postage. Yet, it is not the same as a real hand written letter.

     This year it is is more than what is faith but what is walking in faith? Living in faith not by sight, last night as I worked that phrase kept coming to mind. That would be not just talking about it but living it in action to how my attitude will be about things. Standing on Scripture promises in expectancy verses settling in whatever with what I see going on. 

     I want to find fellowship with others so we can encourage others. It is so easy to talk it but to live it is another blessing not many in this world knows. Those in other countries outside of America probably know it so much better that us due to our reliance on materialism than God. If one looks one can find stories of examples of this. Yet, America is being awakened to this also!!! Prayer is powerful.....

     I have no desire to want to repeat this year. Many lessons learned through challenges. Yet, many lessons in continual learning that takes time to apply to ones heart to doing it automatically when it is called to do. 

     Finally realizing some truths and stands that need to be made in order to grow in faith and experience the power of God in ones personal life. We can talk about it or hear it talked about but is it real in our personal lives? Are we just on the edge of it or actually li ving it?

     Yes, I'm being vague due to if I spoke details this post would be unknown pages in length in what this year held in lessons. Yet the bottom line is about faith. Chosing Godly values and promises verses the empty ones of the world with selfishness so much at the root of it.

     There is victory in Jesus even though at moments it looks interesting but that is when faith has a chance to grow. Mark 11 where faith is talked about can move mountains if we stand on scripture promises instead of unbelief and doubt. Our words can defeat us when we speak with just feelings motivating us verses facts.

     Without this year I would not have learned these lessons. It is a spiritual battle we face as we serve the Lord verses one not against flesh and blood. With this in mind it helps one to love their enemies. Humans have a eternal destination waiting for them as they live. If we do not love our enemies, what chance do they have to chose Jesus as they are then able to see the difference of Jesus being real in our lives verses empty words? If we are not sincere and we don't live in His power then what difference are we from the world? Do we then become goats and tares in our own spiritual blindness as we fool ourselves? Does the love chapter of Corinthians set us apart from the world? 2010 has been challenging! Yet, I have an expectant heart for 2011!!!

     It takes so much less effort to float in life verses standing for something. If we float it is a passive state of whatever happens happens at we are carried along the current stream of popular view due to we don't want to create a ripple for the peace of others. Yet, if one is floating are they eyes open or closed as they might see a little of what is going on around them as they are floating face up? Floating face up is better than face down due to one needs air to breathe in this wide stream of life that can flow quiet quickly to carry one far faster down the path that one thinks that can happen with lots of regret if they ever realize the the great waterfall of eternity that waits for them.

     As one floats, a lot of times ones ears are underwater so it is heard to hear if one is floating on ones back in stream. Yet, the can change positions to get their head out of the floating mainstream thought of popularity. Yet, if their feet happen to touch or scrape the bottom when they just happen to be in a more shallow stream of popularity that is filling their life, they might have an opportunity to stand and make a ripple of difference in the stream from something seen or heard. Yet, that little bit of standing can create a ripple in the stream which may have interrupt the the passive state they are in.

    Maybe as another reaches out to them that are standing for something in this life it can snag them for a bit until they push away from one that cared enough to snag them to try to help them out of this destructive passive force of living. One who stands tries to alert the other who is floating that there are things happening around them they need to be aware of.

     Yet, one who stands can also slip with their feet or hand hold that is allowing them to stand. Yet, they keep the position of looking around with eyes able to see and ears able to hear to watch for something to reach out to to help them stand again. Some slip and start to float even if they don't plan too. Yet, their position is different floating position as they look for a way of escape of this fast current that take one off balance.

     Yet, the ability to chose is still there if one is floating down the stream of popular opinion that can be a gentle form of mob rule that usually does not lead to a good place for eternity. There are various floating positions out there and places to stand or become snagged on which can create a ripple of difference in this world.  

     Waking up by a phone call realizing you are late to start a Christmas day can cause a haze of movement completed in a mental fog  until you are fully awake.  Sometimes, those actions done in a fog can lead to losing something like a cell phone for the rest of the day. Cellphones are small enough to fall and slip in a place out of sight or into something to be taken to anywhere.

     Frustration then is built up as one tries to find something without success which can create more mental blindness in coming with plans of possibilities to find it. So, I just left for a day away about an hour away from home to spend it with family. That can be a good thing to visit ones family on Christmas without a cell phone, in ways it becomes an unintentional gift of less distractions of this world, friends, and work in that tiny clever box of technology.

      Finally leaving without finding the phone as realized I would even be more late if I stayed to find it. The drive started in silence and conviction hit me of how dependant we have become on that little box of technology. My alarms on the phone failed to wake me on my last shift of work despite the alarms being set and not going off. Yet, the conviction went deeper than the dependence I have developed in daily living with it as a tool.  The cell phone can break down over time in not working as well.

      Had it become a replacement of prayer and dependance on God? I'm several decades into life and well remember the time without cell phones when stranded out in the middle of nowhere from driving an old car or other events that created a need to be able to call one for help. How much more did I use faith and prayer to call upon God to help me in sending somebody I knew near me or a stranger willing to help me? How many times did I have Jesus Christ to call on for help in those situations by prayer? In so many ways it has helped build my faith in what it is today by witness how God provided!!!

      Even waking up to my last shift of work without my cell phone alarm was done by a cat jumping around on my to wake me up from the issue of annoyance. I work unusual hours with creates a very unsual sleep patterns which waking up is greatly helped by an alarm. God knows my needs and helps me even in the little things. Yet, despite how He does help me I tend to forget it way to easily at times.

      To find my phone when I arrived home, I had arranged for my Mother to call me starting at a certain time until I called her back to let her know I found it. Yet, on the drive home as I spent most of it in prayer, the idea occurred to me to use my computer email to text my phone which would create a reason for it to ring. I called her before she had a chance to call me at the appointed time. Yet, more important, I had called on God by prayer which is a far greater source of so much more than any cell phone can offer anyone. Plus, one can't lose prayer like they can a cell phone!

A phone call interrupts the bliss of sleep.

Yet words from a friend taste so sweet.

 Before I grumble, I realize a truth.

 A load of laundry fits in nicely.

A gift with time so well used.

To return to  sweet bliss of sleep.

     I say I have faith. Yet, if I worry or fret it shows lack of faith. I have been dealt a measure of faith found in Romans 12:3. Yet, it is up to me the choice to use it. I have it in areas,  yet weak in others.

     Promises in the Word are there to stand on like Philippains 4:4-9 is true. It has given me strength and peace many a time. Yet, it is like I forget I even know it exists at times as I live. Yet, I don't stand but seem to run.

     When I walk out the door from the house to wherever and forget something I need. Why did I forget it? Distracted? It happens with things and it seems to happen with scripture too as I walk in life.

    Praise the Lord that He forgives! I may still have the consquences of lack of sleep due to worrying. Yet, I can chose to stand then on His Word.

    Praise the Lord that He uses people to encourage us even if we are worrying. Some may not realize how they are wonderfully used at moments in life. Despite a worry, I can still have a partial faith that knows it will be okay in time but at the moment I lose my way. Sometimes when one is so tired and late at night can be a weak time but God still cares as He can use anyone at anytime.