This last weekend did not go to well in one way in a world view of profitable. Yet, why we do  this endeavor on our freetime is to talk with people. It is about encouraging people that come up. Sometimes, people just want to be listened to when they talk. We had several that would come back around and just talk some more and open up more as they did.  It did not matter the age. It was not about the booth content but it was a way to encourage another as the people that God sent our direction encouraged us too in fellowship.

      Were things perfect? Far from it! Yet, if I dealt on the negatives that were popping up, I would have missed what opportunities God had for us. My eyes would have been down instead of looking around realizing we were there for far more. I can learn from chaos! I may not like to! But I can! I could have let frustrations destroy why we were there. What I thought I was there for initially was not all.

      Yes, I may be vague at times as I write. Yet, when I listen to people it is not always to be shared but prayed for as it is given to God to deal with. I'm still learning myself and as I do learn how much more I don't know.  This accident that happened months ago has allowed me to learn much more than if I followed the same routine course we can find ourselves in. Dependance on God has increased drastically! I can see people at times in a different way.

      In weeks to come I will be going back to my job despite so many thinking it would not happen! I get to work with people when they call for help and take them to a place that can help them more than me!  Yet, with God it works very similiar as God leads me to people who can ask God for help and I can help encourage them toward God. It may be just a smile, a really good tip, encouraging word, or sharing something God has me a steward of on this earth. All we have is God's as He allows us to be stewards of things. People are more important! Not how much money we make or titles we strive for.  Yet, at times, titles can help us serve more in different ways.  Doctors can do so much more than me. It goes back to who gets the glory in what we do? Yet, God can use anybody even if they don't realize it.  God gives us all a choice to serve Him and glorify Him with our lives in whatever we do. I want to be loved by God not just used by God. What we chose and what values we live with make a difference on how God blesses us. How many blessings do we miss out on as if we live for ourselves instead of God? Or, let our frustrations get in the way when things don't seem to be going right for us because we don't see God's majestic huge picture we can't fathom? Complications that happen can put us in a path to share with another that needs to be encouraged.

     Unfortunately, many don't like to hear things we can say to encourage them. They can get down right ugly and start a lot of trouble as they rattle a tounge and spread more unrest. Self pleasure, worldly values, peers ideas, and much more can cloud our minds to distract us so far away from God. So many seek after money thinking it is a way God is going to bless them. Many forget about the selling your soul concept. Narrow is the path not wide.  Yet, blessed are those that take the narrow path even it is unpopular with peers of family and friends that try to distract us from it in so many various ways in their own blindness. How jealous and ugly some can get when God does bless you! They try to tear you down in various ways. Yet, forgiveness must be present to continue. Souls are at stake and pray they are soften/humbled before God so they don't fall forever.  It is not against flesh and blood we wrestle against. So many people are just being used as pawns of the enemy in their blindness.

      There are so many ways to try to encourage others. So many people to encourage but not all will listen. Yet, that is their choice of freewill God gives them.  Sometimes, that is harder for me to accept the choices than forgiving another. That choice we have, can be destructive to ones life. It is hard to watch one destroy themselves and miss out on God's blessings after a door closes of opportunity for some blessings.  Yet, that is what standing in the gap is about as we continue to stand for loved ones and situations we are called to pray for. We pray for God to work again and another chance no matter how many years that can be down the road.

       Our faith is in God yet it includes faith in how God works, faith in God's timing in how He works, faith in knowing God sees the big picture of eternity that we humans can not grasp.  Faith in God even when people use freewill to reject God's plans, values, blessings, and more in their life despite our fervent prayers. Accepting that people have a choice to follow God or their own path even claim as they so many other things.  God knows our hearts and we have till our last breath to humble ourselves before the Lord for eternal life in HIM! Chances are we will not be there for people's last breath but pray we live a life that could encourage them to Jesus before their last breath on this earth that will come.

     I will be gone this weekend visiting some family and attending a town festival where we will be having a booth. Looking forward to meeting new people. We have been preparing for the trip this week as things have come together in ways I was not expecting.

     Doing the booth allows us to talk with people that come by to look. You never know who God can send by to encourage then and they can encourage us also! May our words be salty! God worked out some major details for us to go this year. When God works like that, then we know there is a reason for sure.

     A couple months ago we did a booth and we picked up a free kitten they were giving away before the batch went to the humane society. All kittens were given away with this one last due to his agressive attitude. He needs patience. Or, I should say, I'm getting a patience lesson often from watching him.

     I'm far from perfect and when I memorize scripture, I can forget a word. I can forget a word for years! These last few months I was reading the chapter of one of my favorite verses that has given me hope over the years.  I grew up in the King James Version but went to the NIV or NASB to help when I was explaining it to others. Yet, in the last year,  I have been coming back to the King James Version which has been good for me. I changed to memorizing in the NIV in college which can make what you have memorized a little jumbled.

      Psalms 37 with verse 4 being a focal point has been an encouragment to me. Yet, going back over it in KJV I realized I have missed a word that shifts the emphasis I had on one of my favorite verses 37:4

      Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (KJV)

      Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (NIV)

      I had been leaving out the word "also". That word for me made me rethink. Delight yourself  and what else to do? Also, means that there is more to do. It brought my attention into the rest of the verses that much more.

     (1)Fret not...., (3)trust in the Lord and do good..., (5)commit thy way...., (7)rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him...., (8)cease from anger....  There are so many wonderful promises here for us and hope when things look interesting around us in this world!!!!!   Yet, all these verses reveal more about what it is to delight ourselves in the Lord.  It is for our lifetime on this earth no matter what is happening around us we are to do these things!  Matthew 24:13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. (KJV). The verses around this verse are very much worth reading as they are encouraging through difficult times.

      As we get older we do make mistakes thinking we may be doing the right thing at times but not. Yet, God knows the motives of our hearts. We should have stood stronger for somethings and backed off of others at other times. We get caught up in our own strength, timing and reasoning instead of God's. We mean well but but we can start following the rules man has made up verses seeking with intensity in the Word of God!  We listen and read other people instead of seeking God instensly oursleves in our personal time in the Word of God with prayer rather than taking what men say as if it was the Word of God.

     I was hit by a full size truck while standing on the shoulder of the road in April and claimed God's promises to heal me so I can return to a career I love and know God put me in. It seems God literally knocked me to my seat and gave me time to seek Him with intensity due to I was literally broken and desperate.  It is amazing the drive to seek God's Help in a time like this. God is amazing in how He does provide for us. There are wonderful promises from God as we trust in Him as it is repeated throughout the Holy Bible.

      Verses 23 &24 below give such encouragement when we do mess up! "...Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth Him with his hand...."  There so many ways we can fall including from our pride about so many things, yet if our faith is sincerely in God, He helps us! We can turn to Him to help us!!! God loves us so much! The enemy can have so many ways to attack us through people and situations at times! We have our own temptations to stray from God in even little ways that can cause us to fall! Not praying to ask God to help us in a situation before we even start doing it can set us up to fall! I pray I can sincerely trust the Lord in all things that I do in life instead of trying to do things on my own. His timing is not mine and I must be patient and not let what others may be doing worry or bother me.  God knows all of our heart's motives.

      As you train the new you can value the previous that much more. Currently, there is a kitten that needs to learn computer respect. The corner of the keyboard has an "ESC" button that it loves to somehow hit. His timing is at the ending when I'm about to finish something. I guess I'm learning patience also.

      Yet, sometimes, I do laugh with the thought that it would be nice to have him in life if he would just do delete my words before it is too late to take them back. Just how much smarter could that cat help me be? Our words can get us into trouble and we can't even see it at times.

      Although it seems, he thinks my fingers could be better used by playing or petting him instead of them being on the keyboard. Yet, at times he will just set and watch them to spring on them unexpectedly like a new game. Yet, he is gradually learning some respect of the keyboard and will jump over it instead of walking by on it. Yet, the jumping over it can still hit the ESC key. 

      Leave him alone with the keyboard while the computer is on? That is too much of a temptation for him he can't seem to resist yet.  We will not go into those mishaps. Turning your back to various situations can create regret from many sources.  Even from one so cute and furry but not appearing so after the results.

       My previous kitty has passed on after many faithful years. He already had good manners to the point of not liking things on the floor and would meow till somethings were picked up. Not this one, he thinks dragging a handle of a plastic bag through the house as it billows behind him is a great game and hilarous to watch at times unless you are trying to nap and he finds the noisy ways to play. With him there seems no batteries to take out to keep him quiet at times. So full of energy, he could replace the energizer bunny at times!

       Yet, we all are learning. I do hope God is able to laugh with us as we do some interesting things from His point of view. We all must learn as this kitten. I was not planning to get another cat but this kitten won me over with his eyes when his next few days did not mean life if he was not taken home by somebody that day as he was being given away for free. Praise the Lord! He wants us to be with Him to but allows us to chose Him with the free will He created in us! Praise the Lord! The Lord has patience with me!!! I know I make mistakes too! Or, I just don't get it at times. The Lord uses this kitty to teach me things!

     I woke up to what I think is a full charge on a cell phone but the phone came way too close to me to easily. Hmm.... focussing my eyes slowly I see a tail to my cellphone instead of a connected to the power source!  My growing kitten has chewed through the charger cord for my cell phone!!!!!!!!

    Mac does not look any worse for the possible shock value and tries to play with the tail that he has left to my phone!!!  Yet, before my feelings get unleashed on him, something comes to mind.......  how many times have I myself self chewed my own cord to prayer with God which is the true source of Power with my own busyiness of life? My own agenda instead of spending time with God before even calling others to pray with me on something or just discussing an idea with another person. Am I checking/praying with God first? Am I asking Him first including temptations that I don't even realize are temptations?

      How many ways does God use things and events to teach us if we will just listen. Yes, I'm out the cost of a power cord but that cost in nothing compared to getting out of God's will for my life. How much could that cost me or another I was to encourage on the eternal scale of things? Our view of life usually has a hard time going out longer than a week or even our lifetime. God's view eternity! How quickly I can forget that!!! How quickly I forget my true source of Power is from Jesus Christ who loves me and humans so!!! How dare I keep cutting the cord to prayer with being too busy to pray! 

     It is not if  I"m going back to work but when!!!!  God is amazing in what He does! Life has been busy but full of learning in many ways!!!  More Strength yet to come in my body and soul!

     While I was starting my blog my Mother called as she was in the area and was coming by. Our plan was to visit while she made some errands here before she headed back.  Yet, when we started up the car it just clicked she admitted she was having a gradual growing trouble with it.  Of, course a lot of people looked under the hood to see if they see anything obvious but as I did it, I realized how long it has been since I worked on cars and how new her car is even if it is older. Plus, she has one of those cars you take the front fender off to get to the battery! Human nature lets you think of options of closest place and possible tow due to most that I know that could help were working during these hours.  So, we prayed and car started amidst the click and reluctant growl it was making as it started. Her goal was to drive back home, leave the car running, call the shop to see if she can been seen, or them give her suggestion for a place to go. She wants to be able to continue to help a group tonight that she has been helping this week at church.

     Cell phones are wonderful as she lets me know later that she does have an appointment at the place she wanted to go to. Yet, cell phones do not replace prayer! The night of the accident, I shamefully admit that I started dialing 911 on my cell phone instead of praying as I got out of my car to run back to talk with the guy standing next to his car inside the open door instead of asking God to help first as I do most of the time. I just knew we needed lights to warn motorists on the highway of this situation as I called on man's help before God. In aprox. 3 mins I was hit. I was still on the cell phone talking to man to help me in this situation. Just prior to the cell phone being knocked from my hand realizing I can not out run or manuver this full size pick up coming toward me, I did ask God to help me and relaxed in faith knowing He would as I ragdoll down the side, under, and  out.  A lesson learned but do I still apply it everytime in my life? Stupidly, NO!!  I will admit curiousity in raising the hood caught me more than immediatly praying with God to help!!!!

     How hard headed in applying this lesson? I don't think I'm the only one in this world that is this way! Again, IT IS NOT IF I'M GOING TO PRAY BUT WHEN I'M GOING TO PRAY TO ASK GOD TO HELP ME IN SITUATIONS!  The sooner I give it to God the better!!!  What does it take for my to truly learn and sincerely apply this lesson?  We all are constantly learning as we seek God in our personal relationship with HIM!!!! Praise the Lord for our life to be able to chose to seek and ask God to help us!!!!

     Praise the Lord that I do get out of my house to go to Physical Therapy.  Yet, life takes a bit longer to get around.  Instead of walking in smaller circles at home we will go to a store or eat a bit out which gives additional excersise. Plus, it changes the scenery. I will admit I was quite self conscious about going around at my age with a walker! Crutches are in my opinion more acceptable in ways. Yet, I find the walker more stable for the klutz I can be!  Yet, if I'm eathing we find a way to hide the walker under the table or such.

     I can be blind at times focus on myself or look around to see opportunity. I will admit I still fight looking down as I walk which is a lot for my own safty. Yet, when I do sit to rest I find another person my come up to sit and ask questions. Children are interesting. I think I have convinced a few not to play in the street, it is dangerous or being too close to the street! Yet, it worth it to keep a child thinking safer!

     At times, I can be shy, yet this can cause a few to ask questions. The swelling in areas is gradually decreasing which is nice. When I do share, I share it simple unless more questions are asked. Yet, it allows me to give credit to God for protecting me. I find fellow Christians who smile in aggreement and others question if God was protecting then why did it happen in the first place and some other questions. Hmmmmm............... it gives me an opportunity to share about God with you at this appointed time?

     I have worked 12 hour night shifts for years and don't get out much in the day. My life and shifted more to a day life in ways which fit the schedule requested of me to keep.  Yet,  it all still flexes with different things. I want to be flexible to learn and accept changes. I was gradually loosing some weight since Feb. but this has given new incentlive as it will help in getting back to the streets. My eating habits are changing for the good in ways. Yet, life takes time. I thought I may get caught up in things but life is still busy and full.

      Yet, promises of healing I do get in the scriptures and things I learn I get to apply. I pray I'm faithful during this time to do what is put in front of me to keep my focus on God and not myself or men's thoughts of how things go. I see a strong leg muscles waste away yet know they will be rebuilt. I think rebuld verses rehab. I think of spiritual muscle that can do the same if not worked!  I do praise the Lord for what I"m learning and want to be faithful to learn! I look at this as an opportunity to learn and work in a different way for this time until the healing is complete to return to the streets!

     I do like to keep things quiet in ways. When I was young I learned about what is rewarded here on earth will not be rewarded in heaven. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.  This last week that did not go too well. I'm one of those that like to be behind the scenes. I have found already in life when you are in the spotlight the enemy loves to attack and tear down. 

     I do understand scriptures that encourage us to let others build us up not ourselves as we are not too think too highly of ourselves (Romans 12:3).  Humbleness lets us live more peacably with those around us.  Yet, God does bless us with many blessings which can upset others too. Yet, again, God will protect us.  I must learn to apply that over and over.

     The accident last month was kept out of the news which I praise God for and know He was amazing in how God did that! Yet, my supervisors at work wanted to give an award based on that night and past performance.  I had not seen them for awhile. Yet, the words they told me when I was out at the activity was that they were still glad I was here on earth and protected from what happened.  I again was able to give God credit for it to others.

     I struggled before I went to this activity due to what it was about. Yet, afterwards, I was able to give God the credit for how He did protect me when people came up to me. Did I want to go in a wheelchair? Did I want pictures of me in it and the brace? No! Yet, again, I could see my own pride creeping back in about things.

      It is amazing all the ways our pride can creep in and prevent us from wanting to do things that can give God glory for what He has done.  I was not out looking for that award. I was just caught on that scene instead of riding off into the sunset. 

     Yet, in ways, I dreaded going because I like to do things quietly. Yes, I may write on xanga on how I can do things better or what I'm learning.  Not to many visit this site and fewer that few around here where I live.  I like that it is quiet.  This site is a way to share quietly. I could be any face in the crowd that a person could pass.  We are all learning and doing that even through our mistakes we make.

     In this world we can become fearful at times and not want to stand up for Godly values when it seems it can be so unpopular even with church "friends" that can be encouraging you to compromise values just to fit in with the peers of the world!  Yet, when we read Psalms as it is full of praise to God in all things as they seek God's help repeatedly against enemies! As we read over and over what do we find out God will do with His enemies who go against Him? Why should we fear???!!!!

     Yes, we still have fear at times and weaken our words at times to fit in when we know better and feel led to say stronger! I do that. At times, I can get so frustrated with my ownself for this weakness in me. I miss out on God's blessings when I don't stand strong. When somebody asks me if they are messing up? Why on earth do I think they are asking me this? Does it occur to me that maybe God has sent them to me to hear truth? Or, do I just try to be nice and not give them what I feel lead to say because I FEAR it could hurt their feelings!!! I take the easy way out which is wrong of me due to I may not be telling them what they were suppose to hear and counting on to hear. I tried to their friend by being "nice" instead of some one who could truly encourage them despite how they could feel for awhile.

     Oh, I have experienced doing what I'm suppose to do when they ask me and how upset they can be when I say what I'm lead to say. Oh, then in their upset state they start running their mouth off to others in what I said to them. Yet, they asked me? Did they want me to lie or give them flatterying to help them justify the compromise of God's values in their life so they can blame others for the decisions made?  Sorta like, Christian compromise peer pressure of justification to sin! We can come up with so many justifications to go off the plan in our life to Glorify God. Satan does not wear a red suit with a pitchfork for us to spot! He is deceptive! The temptation can appear good and justify itself in being right.

      In college I remember a girl while I was in college who was in my Bible Study I was leading out in want me to tell her it was okay for her to live with a non Christain boyfriend during the summer to save money for college the next year. That one was real black and white to answer. Oh, she was upset that I told her, I don't think it is okay at all! She told her "Christain" peers that did give justification for this summer living arrangement how judgemental and all that I was. I was just horrible. She was not going to speak to me again ever.  Well, I found out through mutual friends that fall she did move in with him but it only lasted a few weeks. She found a Christian boyfriend that fall semester. Toward the end of the fall semester she looked me up on campus and told me she wanted to talk privately as I could see her eyes had been in tears earlier. We found a place where we could talk in private as the tears flowed from her eyes she admitted to me she was with child and it was due last part of April. I did not have contact numbers for her till that visit.  As she had asked God to forgive her and turning her life around she realized I had been a true friend to her and knew I would be there for her. She was scared to tell her Christian friends and her family. Later when she told the "justifying Christian"  "friends" of the summer behavior they basically turned their back on her.  I vistied her in the hospital when the little girl was born along with the Pastor of the church they were attending that time. Both were raised in strong Christian background families.  Those two minds of college potential God had blessed to be in college dropped out and got married.  I praise God the child was kept and not aborted like some of her "christian" friends along with non christian friends suggested so they both could have stayed in school like nothing happened. Her heart still seeked God as they both asked for God's forgiveness.  They have had other children since and maintained a home of sincere faith. They did not let that let it get in the way of continuing in faith like some can as they can give up.  Her faith grew huge since! Families reconciled and God protected them.  She is a constant reminder to me how to go on after messing up in ways. We all mess up but have different consquences for what we do.

    Yet, the friends we keep do make a difference in our lives and directions we take due to their influence. What kind of influence am I if I take the nice way of words instead of saying the full strength at times, I know I'm suppose to say but don't out of fear? Back to Psalms, over and over it repeats how God will protect us. God is given names of our Refuge, Protector, High Tower, Deliverer and so much more!!!  Over and over it is repeated how God will protect us. If they go against God they become God's enemies which is a place I don't want to be. In a church there are sheep/goats and wheat/tares. Yet at times the goats don't even realize they are a goat as they are even blinded by their own pride and deceived by the enemy as he uses them to help others compromise in faith.  Psalms 55:12-14 (14) "We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company." The Old Testament and New Testament ties themselves together over and over!

      Yet, at times, I still dread when people ask me what they should do and I know the answer I give them they will not like or want to hear. I know they can turn on me and be quite vicious. Yet, when they do this who's enemy do they become? I pray! God listens! God can bring them back, not me! I have to wait on God's timing. If I get involved on my own will not God's I can make it worse I learn from experience.

      I'm learning things as God has me slowed down for awhile. He is reminding me that being "nice" can be wrong! I know God is preparing me for what is to come as I am reminded of my past in being "nice" at times. Being nice can really hurt them and me in the long run! We all then miss out on the blessings of God for doing what is right and what He wants us to do.  Dear Lord please open my ears and give me the boldness to speak what I know to do and not compromise from fear of what the reaction can be. You will protect me! IN Jesus name. Amen.

      How can I be a true sincere Christian friend if I don't stand for Christain values?  I must remember God has sent them to me for a reason. Disagreeing with those that are encouraging them to compromise even if they do attend a church is something I'm suppose to do without fear! Narrow in the path...... wide is the path that leads to destruction. Good intentions are not actions of those with sincere faith. I must act when I'm told to act not be nice to save hurt feelings! How much pain and damage can happen if I don't obey? 

     I was able to see the Doctor that put my knee back together in the operating room but know his hands were guided by God as it is healing well! He made the brace where it will not bend and I can start GRADUALLY putting weight on it to walk while using the walker.  For some reason the word GRADUALLY was repeated over and over to me. I can now go out to PT!  I can leave my house besides just going to the Doctor!!!!!!!

     I see him in another 5 weeks! I'm excited as his words were encouraging as he did speak of me returning to work! I am excited in how God choses to work! I knew I would be going back that night of the accident as people looked me wondering about that.  Do I trust man or God?  I can dwell on man's words or God's promises!

     Yet, I'm understanding the word "all" better than I did before in asking God to help me in things. I have taken so much forgranted in faith. Many lessons to learn yet! I do praise God for slowing me down to help me learn them so I can use them now and later so I can be used by Him better. I still have so much to learn. We all do.