When I coast on my faith and start going throught the motions I find myself getting into trouble. Sometimes, I'm blind to it until it really starts getting interesting. Yet, Monday afternoon eating a late lunch at a chinese buffet, I received a lesson I pray will stay with me for a long time. I woke up to start my day without prayer, time in the word, or anything like I should start the day. I just got up and started.  I did say a prayer over my meal but it was just words as Jess noticed it too and I was convicted over it as I said, "Amen".  Yet, did I get sincere after my prompting? No, unfortunately. Did I even follow the promptings as I chose my food by listening to the prompting to ignore for sure at least one thing I ate? No, unfortunately.  I was in my own mode for living and took for spiritually lazy. I had been so careful to stay faithful on this mission trip and God blessed in so many little ways again. I learned so much in ways I did not even expect as it is nice not to have the distractions of home around to listen to God clearer due to less distractions.

        Yet, when I was at home on the second day, I blew it big time. I was living on my own strength and wisdom in full force and just ignoring promptings. Why? Pride? Too busy I think I was? Well, what a lesson!  Sometimes, after eating at a chinese buffet I can have some digestive issues like many can. It does not always happen but it can. I started having some but it did not worry me because it I knew it would go away quickly.  I was asked to come to work for a few hours to do a standby due to somebody else had just called in sick to do it. I was not feeling too good but knew it would go away like usual so I said, "Yes." Yet, the bathroom was close by the first aid room and I had a radio to stay in contact of what was going on. There were no patients on this quiet stand by but I had volunteers I was working with that as we talked I found out they where Christians. I don't do stand bys much at all so I don't know some of these volunteers. Yet, as we were talking about faith, I realized with full conviction what I did at my late lunch. I confessed it to these dear ladies and I had some immediate relief which made the rest of  the standby  much better. Yet, when I got home it really started back up again and I knew without a doubt that I did have food poisoning.  Yet, did I humble myself to pray about it? No! As I look back, what was I thinking???????

         By 3 am I was so miserable and weak that I was staggering as I walked and better at crawling. My stomach was cramping so bad and I could feel that I was dehydrated from what I had been up to. At this time, I would have encouraged anybody that I would treat as a patient or friend to go to the ER due to I know people can die of food poisoning. I had a dear lady in my life that I respected so much who had been a lady who was a head cook I worked for in three complete summers at a camp that died of it due to she waited too long to seek help from it. Her bowel burst from it as part of the process of her death from in while on a trip with her husband. She was the only other lady that I had actually referred to as "Mom" in my life due to she said she was my "Camp Mom" for the summers. Oh, we had a blast working with each other. I don't just call other ladies "Mom" out of respect for my own Mother. Yet, this lady was that special in my heart and I learned so much from her during those summers in many areas of life.

          Yet, as I was then literally on my knees due to how horrible I felt I fully realized what I had not done that day and how I had spent it spiritually. I had watched God work on this last week but what had I done. While I was on my knees I finally did what I needed to all day. Jess was even encouraging me to go to the ER by what she saw of my condition. Yet, I told her to set the alarm clock and give me 3 more hours after I prayed for God to heal me and I prayed with full faith. I also gave her instructions of what to do after the alarm clock so she knew I was thinking rationally also. When the alarm went off that she set I was feeling so much better.  I was willing to go then if my faith lacked what it needed to be.  If I pray for others and God answers, then the same applies to me also due to faith. 

          Would I have allowed others to do what I did? That is a question hard to answer. Yet, some of the things I had learned this last week was about faith. This was a lesson I could learn from and I wanted to do it. I had been so faithful in praying, praying scripture, and claiming God's promises on the trip and for the last few months that I just took it for granted. What is pride? It was a lot of different things. Yet, it taught me many things at the same time.  Yet, most of all stays with me, Jesus wants me to be sincere with my prayers and my time with Him is more valuable than anything else I will do in a day.

     God is amazing how He works things out in so many little ways that go unnoticed at times. God answers prayers in so many ways!!!!!!!!! Just in the in last day, He works in Mother's Day by a plane being delayed by two hours that arrives in town at 12:35 am on Sunday morning instead of 10:30 pm on Saturday night. Okay, this may upset some people with such a delay at such a time. Yet, our Mother was on that plane from visiting our middle sister in GA as our youngest sister was going to pick our Mother up due to I was going to be getting back from New Orleans late on Saturday.

      When my sister phoned me the news she had no idea where I was at on the trip back home as God provided cell coverage in that area for me to answer!  She was calling to just share what she found out and how late that plane was going to come it. Yet, we both shared an idea we both had in our minds that it would make if officially Mother's Day when she came into town and both of her daughters that still lived within an hour was going to be able to be at the airport to wish her a "Happy Mother's Day"!  We were planning to do lunch after church but knew all would be very tired and looking forward to naps! To make it short, our Mother was able to see all three of her daughters and family within a day's time to celebrate with her being our Mother. Instead of doing lunch we had flowers and cards to great her with at the airport as she was wide awake at that point as she suggested we go out for breakfast instead of lunch later that day. Mother was not expecting to see me at the airport or that night so there was a lot of little things she did not expect. Yes, timing of the delayed flight could have been looked at as a negative,  yet it was such a blessing! How many other times have I missed blessings so wonderful as this when I chose to look at it as a negative and encourage others to do the same?

 this evening.....

         Today, Jess surprized me with a Mother's day gift and card which I was not expecting. Her Adoptive Mother had threaten to disown her for this or that over time.  Yet, a few days before her 21st birthday this year, she finally told Jess she had did not want anything further to do with her or hear from her. She was no longer part of the family. The female has been interesting for years as Jess kept in silence of things out of love and forgiveness as she prayed for this women due to she knew she was not "right".  Today in the afternoon, she had the gift and card for me. A couple days ago while I was on the trip her Mother called her to throw some more  hurtful verbal jabs her direction. This is a young girl that has come to live with me that has taught me about love, forgivness, and a trust in Jesus that challenges me  as she lives her own life and deals with various situations. Since she has lived with me as we have been out in public people have assumed that we were Mother and daughter as they have made comments to one or both of us about what a nice "mother" or "daughter" the other has. At first, I was a bit ...concerned that I looked that old to be her Mother and it took me back.  Yet, as time went on and comments made I smiled and just went with the flow of the conversation. Jess looks younger than her age and on the last trip the group had assumed I was 10 years younger than I was which was sweet as I corrected them due to a situation that arose. God does have a sense of humor and He does bless in ways we do not expect.

     I will be out of town for a week in New Orleans with the same team. 

      11But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

       13but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming. 

      23If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; 24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

       27Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. 28For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones.

       34 Wait for the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

        39The salvation of the righteous come from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. 40 The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.    Psalms 37: 11, 13, 23-24, 27, 34, 39-40 (NIV)

        In the New Testament as I study I learn I'm suppose to love my enemies and pray for them. I'm to love and forgive as Jesus did as an example for us all. How many other examples does the Bible give of this with people's lives?  Jesus Christ is the same as He was then and is as real in our lives.  As I read some verses these days memories come to me how God prove himself faithful to his Word in my life. It is hard just to put a few verses in this blog when so many are coming alive.  Abraham was promised land and so much more as he was being blessed by God. When we confess our sins before the Lord and accept Him as Savior and Lord of our life as we follow His commands in our life God's promises apply to us.

       With the New Testament we pray for our enemies to come to Jesus as Savior as we love them despite what they can do.  Tares and goats are to be prayed for so they can become wheat and sheep. We are known by our fruits/deeds as they show who we are or who we are living for. Yet, at one time we ourselves did not know Jesus as our personal Savior as others prayed for us to know Jesus as our Savior and Lord of our life. Others loved us!

        Dear Lord, let your Words be reality in my life with my actions and in my active thought life as I chose to love and forgive instead of harbor frustration or anything else that is not glorifying to you in my mind, heart, and actions in living.  Don't let me live as a cliche but with actions matching my words that I speak and study in the Word. Praise You Lord who is in me as You are far greater than he who is in the world! In Jesus name, Amen.

      "...do not fret - it leads to evil...(zits)." I know it does lead to zits on my face when I do worry. We all places on our body that will show when we are stressed and my face for all to see is one of those places. Yet, you might say it helps me with some great accountability aspects about it due to anybody who can sees me, sees I'm stressed.  If  I'm stressed, am I  totally trusting God?  The previous verse part quoted about is Psalms 37:8 and as I read it to myself over the years I follow the word evil with zits!  So, this verse has challenged me not to have them in life.

    Praise God!!! I just have the last shift exchange confirmed in May for being able to go back on the same mission rebuild team that does electrical work!  Knowing you are suppose to do something and watching God work it out is faith growing to watch!  God does fulfill our needs according to his riches in glory!  

     Oh, I do have questions in other areas of life but I know I must trust the Lord in these areas and not lean on my own understanding which can get me into  trouble.  Psalms 37 has been challenging me a lot this last month as it did as a teenager. Yet, life is different in ways compared to that as a teenager. But does the timing in my life change the truth of this chapter? No way, because...." Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8   I may change but Jesus does not. Gods Word stands the test of time. Living may help me understand it better in how it applies to life.

     I have not done electrical work prior to the Mission trip in April. I have worked construction with my Father but we contracted out the electrical work. On these trips, I'm doing something I don't normally due which opens me up to learn new things which helps with an attitude of learning other things at the same time. It is different than what I do at work despite not knowing what I will be doing the next minute in my line of work. Yet, in general, I do know what I'm going to do with the situation is to try to help people and try to take the people to a place to get more help. In some ways it is a routine what I do at my job because I have been doing it for over 13 years at this particular location.

      In ways, my focus is not on the electrical work but about everything else in dealing with people on the trip. The electrical work allows us to share Jesus and love people in New Orleans as it is a way for me to learn more about loving people that are on the team and those in New Orleans. It is about learning more who God is and how He works. I'm seeking and will find!!!!  No need to fret over it!!!

        I'm praying about going back with the same team to New Orleans May 5-12.  Life remains busy yet I'm learning more about who I am as a child of God. At times, I don't even know where to start to share.  At times, what happens one day is built upon days later so I do learn more.  Yet, God will meet my needs and knows the little things I do like. Prayer, I have so much to learn. Some of those around me now and in my past would tell you I'm one of the stronger Christians they know. Yet...............I feel like I know nothing compared to what there is to know.  I'm being convicted of knowing "religion" but not truly the Word of God.  I'm learning about the goodness of God in how he wants to prosper us in every way   in life. You mention the word "prosper" to me and I would have shielded away from it for various reasons. Yet,......I'm learning about the goodness of God and who I am as child of God.  Oh, how defeated I have lived for so many years not knowing what I'm learning now. I wished I had learned what I'm reading years ago. Yet, would I have the value for it like I do know?  I know of fear when I have stood for God in the past and the attacks that could come from it as I stepped back at times not knowing how to deal with the attacks. I knew of "cliches" people would tell me but I did not see them in action in their own lives so that is way I call the "cliches".  Yet, I have so much to learn, so much. My past allows me to value what I'm learning that much more.  Yes, I should post some pictures from New Orleans but...........time to sit down and do that while so much other to learn!  Learning......

       I'm back but still learning from it. My shifts at work were covered in 24 hours when I realized God wanted me to go which was a record for me. It was a team of mostly retired men who did electrical work as a skill for the Lord. This team  has made 14 trips down to New Orleans since Katrina with the same leadership and various men coming to assist.  They teach people who want to help what to do in little things due to there is a lot of ladder climbing up and down running lines and other things.

       The labor involved was a learning process but watching how God worked through people was another lesson. The homes we worked in the people who owned them was involved with the process in ways and it was wonderful to watch extended families pull together tightly to help each other out. Yes, New Orleans is known for a lot of stuff but people who love the Lord do live there and share the gospel. Using this skill opens up paths to share the Gospel. We share love by words and deeds.

        I did ask to bring my chair down there to work on the volunteers at the church we were staying at and was allowed to do so. I was able to work on volunteers before breakfast and when we got back till a little after supper time.  I was sore myself from working during the day so I knew personally where some may be sore at. God gave me the energy to be able to serve the volunteers like me in another way. It opened up ways to share and pray as we watch God answer.  People who are hurting and sore don't like to work as well the next day. So, a little massage on sore muscles helped people work harder the next day. I repeatedly asked God to guide my hands to be a tool of his to serve others in this way.

        God worked in so many little ways while down there as He showed himself so real in little ways which build into bigger ways. I have been spending more time in the Word and seeing it become more alive in everyday living. Jesus does care about the little needs we  have. I brought my childhood Bible with me on this trip and a couple other books to read. That Bible was smaller and special to me to this day as I do still pick it up at times to read of it and flip through the pages seeing highlighted verses with memories attached.  I had my Bible and a scripture prayerbook with me and laid it on the pick up after lunch. I did not realize the pickup was going to go somewhere plus, when I walked away I thought I was coming back to it after doing one thing but it lead to many others into the afternoon. After the truck came back from the trip, Marvin with a smile on his face came up to me bringing my Bible he had found in the street. I will admit it is beat up and has been repaired by my Mother who has been a church lib. for over 30 years. I was overjoyed that it was found by him as he saw it. I did not mind loosing the scripture prayerbook due to it was in its box and would make a wonderful gift of encouragement for whoever found it. I pray God is using it in the hands of another as I type this blog. Yet, I would have shed tears in loosing that beat up Bible due to so many memories it held in scriptures being marked growing up. Yet, at the same time, if it had been lost hoped that somebody would be able to use it also. Having that Bible brought to me was like God just being so loving and protective. He is not through teaching me out of that Bible that contains the Word of God and memories on how God has worked in my life in the past. It stands and reminds me of many wonderful things even when things where discouraging at times in how wonderfully God does work as I'm still learning to this day.

       Plus, the Mission trip was a place to be tested in what I have been learning in my relationship with Jesus over the last few months. It tested how much in ways I really loved people as Jesus showed me people loving each other down  there. Jesus is always working around us.

       Sometimes, I get a idea in my head about things slowing down. Yet, sometimes it may be me instead in getting things done   I'm starting to pay people back ahead of time to take off for the trip and trying to get things done at home before I leave. Plus, there is praying about what to pack.

       Yet, I find life exciting as each new day holds new things I did not plan on doing. My friend last week had a horrible head ache and she is one that does not complain. After a third Doctor's visit it was found out she had a slipped disk in her neck that needed to be put back in place. After several days in pain, she is pain free. Praise God! She had a lot of tests done but it could not come up with the cause.

       Our back supports our body in an upright position. We can take our spine forgranted until it is injured by something.  What supports us spiritually? What if some of our support is not where it needs to be? Do we notice when our spiritual support is not what it should be?  Sometimes, as calcium leaves our bones as we age we don't notice but after years it will make a difference in how we stand. What happens if our spiritual support gradually leaves also?  God is our creator and loves us so. Do I seek Him like I need to or gradually drop off in ways? What does it do to my spiritual life?

       My dear friend was able so show me a lesson I needed to learn by watching and encouraging her. It was a convicting lesson which I was not expecting in ways. God teaches me in so many ways if I will seek him and open my eyes. As I prayed for the Doctors to find out what was wrong with her, I found out more than I figured with her and even more spiritually.

        Another thing that is not as easy to admit is that I was very lightly rubbing her neck and trying to relax her. I was so focussed on so many things than her neck I missed it, myself. I was being so soft in touch not trying it irratate her condition due what I thought it could be coming from.  As I softly rubbed I was able to relax her and the pain decreased. Yet, while I was there I attribruted it to the pain meds she was given. Sometimes, I can be close to listening but still miss it. I was more worried than fully 100% trusting the Lord. I was relying on years of medical knowledge and experience to think of things rather that seeking God more. I felt led to rub her neck but missed why due to thinking more wordly than living in faith. Plus, I was scared to press too hard on her neck. Again, fear got in my way. It is amazing how many ways I may not even think that my fear limits me. I pray I can replace it with fully trusting and seeking God. I pray I will be seeking God my entire life here on earth instead of coasting on what I do know and miss out so much. 

     Update on the previous post.  It looks like the guy will go home in a few days!  Those calls are the ones you look forward to have with this kind of a happy ending. It has happened before over the years.  The glory goes to God for giving him more time on earth. One more day at this station before rotating to one which is suppose to be slower.  "Suppose to be" is the key phrase.

     Praying about and working toward going on a mission trip to New Orleans which is with a rebuild team that has been going down since Katrina with Kansas/Nebraska S. Baptist.  I went to disaster training with the feeding unit Saturday and heard about the opportunity.  I started praying and was able to cover my shifts at work so I can go this week in  April.  Many things need to be done between the time so xanga will not a focus of mine for a few weeks. Yet, I can't help myself when things slow down for a few minutes to peak in. Still praying for you all. 

     God is working and allowed me to be able to stay on the Disaster team despite some changes in life. They were not about to let me go due to I work too hard and they do value what I am to the team. It was good to hear those words. I was ready Saturday when I updated the leader about some changes for him to tell me I may not be able to be on the team.  I'm in the process of changing my church membership which could have affected the position. After the five weeks in 2005 in Biloxi, they do not want to let me go. Fortunately, the mobile kitchen has not been called out again since. Yet, we still train to keep up on skills. Another season of storms are here as the group stands ready for response to share God's love in action and Word. This rebuild team has been active with construction since the feeding unit has left. Construction, especially electrical work, is not my strength. The only electrical work I do is through ekg at work on patients.

    Oh, last shift on....last call.......a patient went down while at work... 911 called.....we were able to shock him.....pulse back...pt. a bit combative....pulse gone.........shock again.... pulse back........pt. scared and a bit combative.....release to er.......went to cath lab due to having a big heart attack........praying.......tonight as I go to work, I may be able to find an update.    I guess I do use electricity but it is not for building construction. Of course we are doing a lot more to this man than just shocking him.

     There are many things with a relationship with Jesus Christ than just going to church. I pray we are all faithful in do what we are to do!