God opens doors if we are keeping our eyes open. How many times am I tempted to look down when frustrated which closes the options of what I see?  Yet, faith is not about looking down when frustrated or discouraged! It is about keeping our eyes focussed on our faith in Jesus and continue to reach out in love which is the way to see God work and  open doors. To love others despite what they can do or what we allow ourselves to feel is so self defeating in so many ways. We can chose the world's way or God's way with our reactions to situations that are around us. God's timing is not our own timing. Again, it comes back to our faith. Our lack of faith can limit us so much. Thank God for sincere believers wether they be friends or family than can encourage us to look to our faith in God verses the weaknesses of other humans or even ourselves.

      In the last month and a half Jess and I have been making beaded jewelry which is being very well received to the point of  being encouraged to do a booth in a town a few miles away. As this opens up, another opportunity opens up in another town.  Yet,......God opens doors when we least expect at times. Time?  God blesses with energy. He is the one that opens doors if our eyes are open to Him to see them. If my focus is not right I miss it.

      I will read back through blogs at times which can encourage me when I do wonder about life. Some blogs I write are trivial but others encourage me again. It reveals to me where may faith is at each day. Some days, I realize I'm where I need to be and others when I'm reading previous blogs it reveals I need to shift my focus more to Jesus and the strength He can give us instead of my own strength. He is waiting there just for me to humble myself to ask for it. It is my choice and how many days do I get too busy to ask for it? Yet, I know I'm not alone. We all can make the mistake of not asking for Jesus to help us. It is our choice He gives us to make.

      So many options in life to do. Praying for direction when there are so many options. Only so much time in a day.  Yet, how dare I waste it staring at a TV?  Yet, at times I will find myself  sitting on the couch to rest and flip it on and then stay longer than I expected.  Yet, the news....know what is going on in the World.... so many reasons to... So many choices and so many needs in this World.  Dear Lord,  help me know the direction  you want me to go to be the most effective. Amen.

     Waking up for no apparent reason as I lay in bed staring for  five minutes at the ceiling wondering, "Why am I awake after a long eventful good night shift?"  The answer came through my cell phone with a text, " Are you awake?"

     "Yes, I am", replying as I realize I was awaken up from good sleep for a good reason.  I was up knowing something was coming.  A dear friend wanted to do lunch.  Part of me wanted to roll over and tell her I just want more sleep but that still small voice told me I should not do such a thing.  It had been an interesting month and sleep seemed good as this was a chance to catch up on some of it. Yet, what did I need more?  God knows far better than I do!

     This dear friend is part of a 14 year old growing friendship and fellowship. We work in the same field and been there for each other. She is one of the strongest females you will meet in many ways. She has a heart full of love and helping others that blows my mind at times. You don't see this girl cry.  She does not complain much at all.

    As we talked, I realized she was going to really open up about something that was bothering her. When I saw the tear roll from some of the biggest eyes you will ever see on a girl, I knew it was really bothering her.  She had doubts about a choice she made to love and help another a few years ago.  She was wondering if she was the one to do it and strong enough to do it. Oh, how doubt can discourage us so when things seem hard to do at times. Yet, where does our strength come from?  Why do we needs God's strength to do what He gives us as a choice to do? We can't do it on our own strength! God will give us the strength as we stay humble and seeking God to do it.

     As we talked, I realized we were both dealing with similar sitautions in a part of our lives but in very different ways but we were both not keeping our focus on God as well as we could in ways. As she talked, it was like I was looking into a mirror. Fellowship is sweet, ever so sweet! Such encouragement from fellowship other who are really out there to love others despite the cost and risk at times. God has given us both people to reach out to and encourage despite how they can act.  Love is loving when it is not easy.  Yet, the love must come from God and flow through us due to we can't do it alone.

     Could sleep ever helped me as much as fellowship during lunch? Not this lunch! God used us both as we talked and reminded each other of scripture and how God works.  I don't think 24 hours of sleep could do what talking during that luch did for both of us through fellowship glorifying to God.  He is not going to give us more than  we can handle through Him. Sometimes, when I'm going through what I think is tougher times, I tend to isolate myself or become quieter due to I don't want to complain. Yet, I still do. Yet, that isolation at times can weaken me due to lack of fellowship that glorifies God. As we talked we realized we both are dealing with a situation more similar than we realize despite the packaging is very different. Talk about knowing how much better to pray for each other!  Talk about sweet fellowship! That lunch consisted of human food but was so much richer in food for the soul! Fellowship!!! Praise the Lord!!!  Praise God for those others in my life that encourage me in other situations!  Praise God for bringing those in my life when I'm faithful to listen to His direction! Dear Lord, please help me keep my eyes and ears open!

     Life does get busy with choices to make.  In ways it is the same as God gives us all freewill to chose what we do versus loving God a choice.  We show our love by the actions we do. We can say we love but like faith, is love without action dead?  As I think about James talking of faith and Corinthians 13 talking of love, in ways the words could be interchanged some.  Faith is faith through whatever happens around us like Love is to be. You can say out of your mouth you have both faith and love but without actions both are empty words.  Without actions is it real? Does it show how much of both we actually have?  When both is tested where do we look for our focus to be even able to have actions?  The strength must come from God that He give the new creature in us that we become when we come to Jesus Christ humbly to ask for salvation. Our human nature does not have the strength or even the desire to have love and faith when things get rough around us. Am I wrong?  When we are tempted what happens to most of us? Keeping the focus on Jesus Christ on even great days and rough days can be a challenge.  How many great days do we forget to maintain our focus on God when in our own strength we start to get our ownselves in trouble? How soon can we find ourselves complaining or have a growing pride which is not a part of faith and love?

    When I'm quiet on xanga, I'm usually busy in the flesh and blood world I live in. Internet is not my choice of the day when there are so many to make.  Time in the Word and Prayer needs to win out. Yet, I forget how encouraging you all can be as we all deal with similar tempations to get our focus off Jesus Christ who wants to be there for us through it all.  I logged on finally today and what day I picked to read first had two entries blogging in similar thought with both saying it beautifuly.  What does it help to worry?  Faith is the answer instead of worry!  Then with what I just had been reading the same day of actions and faith in James............   what a combination of a lesson to apply in my own life.  Yet, I get this wonderful message late as I just log on.

     Yet, would I be open to listen and really let it sink in? All I know there are many ways of encouragement out there if we just open our eyes to what God is providing for us to encourage us.  I get busy myself and miss out many good things from God.  

     Tired from a working during the days in the heat in homes to the point of being able to literally wring out sweat from just grabbing my tshirt, I was given a chance to go out for a French donut down in the French Quarter instead of going straight to bed after supper on my last Thursday there. I was not expecting the opportunity  but jumped at the chance as I went to grab a real quick shower and tracts to be able to go.  If ....I was going to be able to be on foot in the French Quarter it would not be without tracts. I had brought bunches of tracts the last two times down but this time did not bring the bunches only my pack of assortment I will keep in my car or purse at times which some would say is a coupon holder. Previous trips, my time was more focussed on sleep after working during the days.  A wonderful youth group that was there planned to go bowling while they were there but I had declined so I could go to bed. Yes, I can be boring but I wanted to be focussed during the day to be able to get things done. Yet, it was going to be three other people going in the group.

     While we headed from the donut place we walked passed a Catholic Church where people had gathered to sit on the benches along with Fortune tellers having set up thier tables.  I walked past the first two and just prayed.  I passed out several to ones in front of the church.  I felt the eyes of a guy in a wheelchair as he talked with two others in general conversation.  He told me he had a poem for me. I handed him a tract and then his poem started on the topic of sharing my faith and how I was doing it. He encouraged me to not to be afraid and love people as I pass them due to they needed the Lord. Tears came into my eyes from this man I had never met. We share a few more words as he tells me to go and do what is needed. How can I describe the feeling of peace and encouragement I had after leaving this man in a wheelchair?

       There was one more fortune teller as I passed the corner of the church which I offered a tract too but after a few words he nicely told me he could not accept it. We made our way to Bourbon Street as I prayed as we walked.  I passed out my tracks I had with me wishing I had more like I had brought in the previous trips down. We walked down the back and forth and I did not see one tract on the street from one who had dropped one. I will pick them up to pass out again if I find them.  I was told "Thank you" by some and as we passed some later they mouthed "Thank you" from a distance.  I did not get to speak to most like I would have normally done with these tracts.  Yet, that is  the beauty of tracts that they speak in their own way.  

       I was using tracts I have purchased from LivingWaters.com that include the $1,000,000 bill which was very well recieved.  I also used the Titanic, opitical illusion tracts and the small card tracts from Living Waters that were well recieved and shared with others in the group of the person I gave it too!!!  It was so cool to look back to see the person sharing it with those they were with.  I did not have many tracts with me and prayed to God to be lead to people to give them too. God used the few tracts I had with me to be used by the ones I shared with. That night was energizing for the next morning dispite my body being tired after being there about two weeks. God has a way of multiplying things including  hours of sleep and tracts being shared!

     Okay...... it has been longer than a week.

         The week was going to Salina and getting to work on a multi-purpose building for our State Camp. My first trip there was in the 6th grade when the camp started.  It has grown since then. Many times I have attended there to learn many things.

         Then.......... I was working many hours as planned but then worked more than plan to try to help a person out on my only day off which ended up interesting as working straight through till my vacation instead of her paying me back the shift so I would have a day off. Yet, I was still able to leave the first day off in vacation but able to catch a few hours of sleep in Tulsa before continueing the trip down. I was able to rest, pray, and fellowship with my cousin Sheila.

         I left for a two week vacation which I used most of it to travel to New Orleans to volunteer again in rebuilding homes and finished it up with less than 48 hours in Tulsa, Okla.  for rest and then on to Independance, Kansas to help with a new church building with a volunteer team.

         First part of the vacation I was so tempted to go back home when I got a call from Jess to let me know there is water in the basement. So much rain had fallen in the area. Instead of leaving New Orleans to go home and take care of the issue, friends came to help Jess.  God even provided Jess the money to help due it by Jess finding $180.00 in change down there.  Again, God is amazing!!!!!!!

         With Xanga, I'm so far behind. Yet, life has been fascinating to see how God works. The week between the trips was time to make up as I switch out work time to be able to go and volunteer.  Sometimes, I just sleep when I get home to do basics to remain socially acceptable in cleanliness.  Yet, despite all God does amazing things!!! 

          God can bring people in our lives in just passing to encourage in so many ways. Yet, at the same time it is encouragement for the both of us at the same time. Praying to go back to New Orleans the first full week of August.  Why?  The people and to be a part of what God is doing down there as He is opening doors and changing lives!!!!

     I will be gone for a week despite not being on much before this to post.  I get to work on an all purpose building at our state camp with the electrical team.  It is something my Father would have like to help build at when he retired.  These guys I work with are in his age group with on of them being a guy we went to church when I was growing up.  It is a  nice way to spend the week before Father's day.  It is cool when parents and children share dreams together even if the other is not longer on earth. Dad would talk about doing these types of  things when we worked together while growing up.

    God is good in so many ways as He works things out. My sister  had an operation this last week which went well. Praise the Lord! It is amazing how we all can take after our parents in different ways. God is in control. God is good all the time even when I don't seem to realize it or see it. That is were this thing called "faith" comes in!

     I can get distracted at times. Oh, life can be busy. When I let it get too busy to spend time in God's Word then I do really miss out. God can bless us in so many ways to the point we may not even realize how much as we can take it for granted.

     Yesterday, it was busy in ways and I sat down and wanted to sleep but could not despite needing to. I saw one of my Bibles in front of me.  I just opened it up to start reading which was in 2 Chronicles (spelling may be off)  which is in the Old Testament as it was going through the life of some of the Kings of Judah.  I started reading about Asa how he was a king that worshipped God strongly in the beginning as the Lord blessed him. Yet, as I read some of these kings would start off well following the Lord and leading the people to do the same.  The Lord would bless the people and the king that was following the Lord's Commands. The kings would get rid of idol worship of false Gods brought into the land from other countries.  Yet, many would not destroy the high places where so others were worshipped. 

      As I was reading I noticed a pattern of God can bless us and we forget where our blessings come from as we depend on ourselves or other people instead of God.  One King was protected in battle in a mighty way but later when confronted by an enemy years later as God blessed him, he sought help from another country instead of God. When he was older and had a disease he sought after the doctor of that time instead of God to heal him.  The prophet of God confronted him about that.  Even after confrontation of what he was doing, he still did not turn to the Lord.

        Yet, before I say or think anything negative about that king, I'm reminded in how do similar things in trusting in other people and things instead of the Lord at times.  Oh, those people in the Old and New Testaments can teach us so many things as we read about their lives. Yet, how many times do read, learn something, and then forget the lesson or forget to apply it in my own life?

        God is doing some cool things in my own life and in so many of yours. I pray we remember these times when we do get discouraged or fearful of things.  Sometimes, just sitting down and opening up anywhere in God's Word does not fail to teach me.

       Life can get interesting.    At times, when it rain it pours.  How the enemy loves to discourage us by so many ways.  I think back when I had women trying to get me kicked out of a church by twisted words and lies so they could take over what I was doing in the church. They really didn't realize what it was they seeking.  It was about serving people and a lot of behind the scene work.  Part of the trouble started when somebody I was working under thanked me publically and gave me credit for the work. Yet, the work was in progress and it was all about serving behind the scenes, not power.  These women wanted power not serving. God is good during those times and trusting Him is so important. Those women had some interesting motives. Yet, in a year all but one had moved away and the one left was known for what she tried to do. Her venom was drained away for that period of time.

         Yet, before that time the enemy has tried to discourage my faith is so many various ways.  The enemy can use some you don't expect at times but love and forgiveness must be there to prevent further destruction. People can be used as pawns and not even realize it.

          I will admit in the past when interesting things start happening I tend to come back into my lack of faith shell and stop reaching out as much due to how interesting life can get. Yet, the next time it happens ..............  I don't want to.  I realize there are greater blessings from God on the other side of interesting times.  I want faith in God to grow stronger instead of the enemy getting a victory in my retreat from discouragement.

          Sometimes, in midst or after discouraging times, I just want to withdraw from people. How many times, the enemy uses the ones you have really tried to invest in and love as they twist it all up at times to try to get ahead or attention from another.  A drive for power over people and so many other motives out there.  At times, I just want to distance myself  from people so they can't stir up more and twist more things to add to the fire. Sometimes, to be drawn into the game they want to play could destroy more than they realize. The time at that church I could not discuss with other members my side of the story due to it would cause so much strife within that church. Being quiet when the enemy is at work using twisting tongues of women is not easy to do yet God did take care of that part of one of the interesting times as these women moved away by various situations that came up. I did not want further destruction to happen or the enemy to win more ground in that church family if I did play the game they wanted to start.  Being quiet at times is not easy.

           Praise God!  God knows the motives of our hearts and will judge us in what we do.  I do praise God for people He does give discernment to as they see through to the truth. 

      These last two shifts at work have been interesting.  It seems like things of my past are remembered. I ran a patient who's daughter I ran years ago as she remembered me. It took a bit for me to remember but it had been a long while ago. Yet, it was a good outcome.  Then this last shift, a person I had not worked with before knew a person I knew years ago and witnessed to as this person was in my life as a friend for about four weeks while I was in college before they dropped out. This person at work who is over 10  years younger told me what happened to the other person. This person did not think Jesus could forgive all the bad stuff they had done by the time they were 19. He lived it sounds like another seven years before they left this earth. I do hope this person changed their mind before they left this earth. 

       Sometimes, we do not see what we are doing now or who we talk to can make a difference. I know I do wonder. Yet, I must remember God is in control and He does give us a choice on earth whether we accept or reject  a personal relationship with Jesus.  I must be faithful and love people enough to share with them about Jesus. It can take many of us even at different times to share with one person in life. Dear Lord, please help me to be faithful to share and listen for your promptings of when to share with others for your glory.