Mark 7: 14-21 (NIV)

14  The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15  "Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod." 16  They discussed this with one another and said, "It is because we have no bread."  17  Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18  Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? 19  When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
      "Twelve," they replied.  20  "And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
      They answered, "Seven." 21  He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

     The Pharisees had came to Jesus prior to this passage still not understanding who Jesus was despite them living a life talking about the coming of the Messiah. Would churches recognize Jesus today if he came into their midst? Would Pastors or church leaders recognize Jesus or his voice today? There are ones with sincere faith that would due to years of seeking and living for God and not  building themselves like the world.

     Yet, I can relate with the disciples in forgetting what Jesus has done in my life and life of others. They walked with Jesus as he cast out demons, healed people that had faith that Jesus could do it even if just to touch the hem of  his garment, and fed thousands of people just a few loaves and fishes. Plus, Jesus gives them the power to heal the sick and cast out demons in people as he sent them about the countryside. With all that, they still forget and don't understand what Jesus is doing or saying at times. Yet, I do the same in forgetting or not understanding what is going on in life in lack of faith can get discouraged and frustrated. I even get to do an interesting job while living is this world for a short time compared to all eternity to be able to see amazing things happen in situations. I ask God to help me repeatedly at times when I'm overwhelmed and he helps me  repeatedly. Yet, when things I don't understand hit I can get frustrated and such. I  too forget what God has done, answered in prayer, and brought me through.

     Yet, it is amazing how a little yeast of doubt, pride, or selfish ambition can grow and destroy a group of believers to distract the focus. How many once sincere churches, ministries, lives have been destroyed by growing yeast of sin that is not recognized for what it is and repented of to recieve the forgiveness God is willing to give?

      It is a risk for me and all of us. Praise God we can recognize it through Holy Spirit God gave to dwell in us, listen to others as they care enough to point it out in our lives as they are used by God, or be convicted of it as we do read the Bible to seek God.  Do I love people enough to be used by relying on sincere Faith in God that is active? Will I  remember what God has brought me through and others when I do start to have questions? I pray that I  remember to pray for others and that they pray for me. We are a family of God that is to be known by our love.

Mark 6: 48-52 (NIV)

48 He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, 50 because they all saw him and were terrified.

   Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 51 Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, 52 for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.

      Jesus had sent the disciples on ahead of him in a boat as he stayed behind to send the people away after feeding the 5,000. Jesus had gone away to himself to pray. Later, he sees the disciples in the boat and walks on the water out near them as they grew so afraid at seeing this sight. They had just seen a miracle a few hours before of Jesus feeding 5,000 men with 5 loaves and two fishes. They had already seen him heal people and cast out demons in chapters prior. Jesus had even already sent them out in  twos to reach out with people with the power to do the same. Yet,.........

      How similar I can be also! I can be out in the sea of life struggling against the pressure and seem to be going nowhere at times. I may see something that I don't understand and can be frightened by it. Where is my faith? Where is my strength and understanding coming from? Could this be Jesus working in this sea of life that can scare me at times in things I don't understand what is going on at times? Do I let this fear keep me from pressing on or do I seek God for understanding and stand in the power he gives me as a child of his? Does my own heart become hardened in all the blessings and workings Jesus has done in my life and others?

       Dear Lord, help me not have the spirit of fear and trust in you that you are working even if I don't understand what all is going on. Please help me in my faith that it does not falter in my fear or lack  of  understanding. Please help me not to forget what blessings and works with me and others through the ages and now! In Jesus name, Amen.

       It is exciting to read that Jesus told them do not be afraid, got in the ship with them, and calmed the winds. We serve a mighty God that encourages us to seek  him and learn. Has the faith he offers the disciples all those years ago changed? No, it can be my own lacking of seeking and walking in the faith as I get so distracted as I'm in the sea of life. I must keepseeking and  focus on Jesus Christ the Finisher of my Faith.  

     This year has been interesting as well as exciting in ways. Work remains a challenge. Most of my xanga time is usually at work when things are slow.  At home, I tend to stay rather busy as different things come up and do. I'm not one to spend much time on the phone and when I do, my hands are usually busy doing something. 

    Yet, at work, I have not had the peace to write or read on xanga. Work can be a spiritual battlefield at times with various factors. Yet, many of you know what I'm talking about. Yet, my work allows me to help people in all sorts of conditions despite not really being able to share it with people. At times, it is just quiet praises. At times, I know any word I write on here can be turned against me. So, I must be careful what I write. The enemy is deceptive and uses many people. Yet, we must love our enemies. It is not a choice but a command of God. If I can have enemies and people can't tell who they are by the way I treat and talk about them, have I accomplished this? This last year my eyes have been opened to who the enemy can use. I don't want to be used by the enemy. Yet, I realize it is amazing how he can twist things into things that are destructive. Yet, how many times do we hear the enemy decieves people? It is true.

     Pride can be a tool of the enemy. Pride can encompasses so much and appear harmless at times. There is pride that keeps people from asking for help when they need it. That is destructive and so many of us fall victims to it. Yet, Jesus is helping me with that issue as I become more and more accountable to Js. It can actually help me. Plus, she has been here long enough to read me at times to read my body language when I'm not speaking. Oh, better yet, God even lets her know about me. Yet, I can't be surprized when God does the same for me with others.  I did not know the blessing God had waiting for me when mutual friends came to me telling me this girl needed help. How little did I know I was the one really needing the help? In turn, we help each other. Yet, how many sources of help is there. Xanga can give a lot of encouragement reading others and comments.

     I pray God opens my eyes and ears to what I'm suppose to be up to instead of me being distracted by things that bring me down. Yet, the first few weeks have been active with good things accomplished. I know I must seek God and study in the Bible until it was so much alive to me as it was before. I see God working in another area of a prayer request. I will wait before I discuss more so I actually know more. I am excited in ways. God is working. The enemy has noticed  this last couple of months activities and started to bring up problems. Yet, God is greater than our enemy. God is our refuge. We are commanded to love. Well, I better keep loving and seeking God!

     May this year be a year that in my weaknesses God is strong! This last month I was at my busy station and home was busy in so many ways if not in just learning. This last month was a blurr and I'm so excited about this  new year! God is answering prayers of years ago that I thought...............   Yet, God has his own timing and must prepare my heart to be able to serve Him in the way I need to be. How much stubborness did he have to break down in me or can we say pride? Yet, God is still working as I'm far from what he fully wants me to be. I want to grow in Him and hear him ever so distinctly.

     Please forgive my absence on xanga this last month. I was at a loss for words with the various things going on. I hope to share this next year and read from you all how our witness grows with God! Yet, you all have not left my prayers this last month.

     Saturday, we went down to Oklahoma to visit my Mother's Brother and his wife as the family celebrated their 50 years of marriage. Their four daughters did a beautiful job in all aspects of celebrating the occasion as many friends and family dropped by. Afterwards, some of the family lingered there in the home of one of the daughters the celebration was held in as we gathered to talk. One family of the son-in-laws held a video camera as the honored couple talked a bit about the last 50 years. This video will be cherished in years to come.

     Many topics and memories were discussed on the video. Good and bad times were briefly discussed as laughs were shared. A question was posed, what kept you together for 50 years? My uncle was quick to respond, "It is not just love, but a business." Immediately the family reacted taking it hard on my Uncle LeRoy in jest about comparing it to a business. Yet, as I have thought about his answer I further understand what he was trying to say which he wasn't allowed to finish his full thought. With wisdom, he became quiet and smiled along with the hard time given to him. Yet, he had his own business and it took a lot of commitment to keep it over the years. To keep his business to provide for his family it was not based on a feel good feeling but a commitment through good and bad times with many factors to be met by many parties. It takes a lot of work in many areas to have a successful business and marriages. You don't go into both lightly if it is to last. My Aunt also smiled with my Uncle's comment and joined in with the laughter and played along with the family giving my Uncle a hard time about "love". Yet, her eyes seemed to know what he meant due to the word "patience" so beautifully describes her in this marriage. Her life proves how much she loves him as she has stayed by his side during good and bad times.

    They have a marriage based on Godly values as they are people who have always been givers to anybody as God has given back to them. They have been an beautiful example of marriage.  How many 50 year aniversaries will we celebrate in 40 years?  It looks like they will be real rare as there are so many divorce today. Yet, in 40 years Jesus Christ may have already come  back to earth!!!!! Christ's bride, the church, will be claimed. Will each of us be ready when he comes?

 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:21

        A man I have treated repeatedly since I have started working for the service finally did what he threatened to do for years. Yet, at the same time it could have been accidental where he lost his step secondary of too much alcohol consumption which ruled much of his later years in life. God knows and all I know is that he is no longer here on earth.

       He was a man that taught me many things about life and people. He could be the meanest, cruelest mouth, and uncooperative individual you could come across. When I think of bitterness I see his face and will probably see his face when I think of that word and an example. Things happen to people in life and people can deal with it various ways. Many would restrain this man if they  transported him but I rarely had to despite times I wondered if I should have when it took him a little longer to calm or remember who I was through the haze of alcohol and bitterness.  This is a man that told me of my faith and what little use it was before I could share it with him indirectly or whatever. He had a lot of issues and to put it briefly quite a dark mind as his artwork reflected that I was able to see one night many years ago. He would tell me he would take me to hell with him and let me meet Satan who was his close friend. He threats could give a person the  chills. At times, it was like he read my mind and what I was thinking while we had a 15 minute transport. Other times, we ended up having good discussions about things including his past. He had such a hard tough surface but could be a nice guy underneath which exposed a lot of hurt in life. Yet, if you were around him you know he could change moods like a hair trigger.

      He was a man that had you praying without ceasing to yourself when you knew you were heading his direction and  after you left him. He would even tell me when I was with him during transport to stop praying for him due to he could hear it in my mind. He told me he went to church in his life and was considered to be a good man at one time in his life which seemed like another life ago that did not exist with him. Yet, ..... he turned his back on all of it with what he saw eventually which made Satan seem like an honest guy compared to preachers he had known. Bitterness crept in his life and in ways took it over in so many ways as he did a lot of different things. I did  tell him there were good preachers and churches out there. That was not a response he wanted to hear.  He would not even say the name Jesus unless it was in a form of a curse and he told me he did not want to even hear that name.

      He was one guy though that when he finally realized it was me though his anger and alcohol haze would calm down and would talk depending how bad the situation was that we were called for. He was one man I deteremine the first time I ran him to be nice but yet in what I do you also have to be firm at times. Yet, there is a balance. With him at times it was spiritual warfare by the way it felt. Many times, when it was time for us to part it would be with a hug which most of my peers would strongly advise getting that close to him. He would ask me at times, why I would not verbally get him back like we would me. Yet, then he would answer his own question for me from what he knew of the faith he once held and turned his back from.

       His death hits me. I know I could have done more in ways. Yet, so many hurting people are out there. I have been accused repeatedly by not taking care of myself in what I do for others. If I don't take care of myself then I can't help others too down the road. God gives us each choices to make. I may not like what some make. Looking back, I may not like some of them I make myself. We chose how we react to things that happen in life. He threatened many horrible things he would do to me at times like killing me when I least expected at times. Yes, he was a man to give warm fuzzies. He was an experience and taught me things. Yet, other times he would be in tears and taking all the things back that he told me he would do. One time a couple years ago, he admitted to see if he could make me mean back to him but he had not been able to accomplish it so far. I did see him in a couple of public places over  the years to smile at me but he would slip out quick before you knew it.  Again, it is a choice.

       Spending at least 15 minutes around him many times over the years taught me things about people. I still have so much to learn. He challenged me to love people. He opened my eyes of what could happen to people. I will miss him. He is one of those you don't forget.

      Everybody has choices.  What do we end up chosing? We make choices each day.

P.S. He had cats that he took care of too. He loved his kitties. We shared our cat stories which would usually put him in a good mood at times.  God can use cats too, while sharing!

      What can hold me back from enjoying the sweetness of life? Forgiveness due to I would rather be bitter about something which spreads all through me.

       Yet, I forgave that person x amount a time ago! Yet, is it not amazing how we need to repeatedly forgive when the incident comes back to our mind repeatedly?  Lack of forgiveness can defeat what I'm doing. It is a breakdown of love and gets my judgemental nature fired right up. DESTRUCTIVE!!!!! It takes awhile to forget things at times and it is amazing how things can return. How, such a beautiful start of a day with so much promise can be destroyed in defeat due to what my mind decides to focus on instead. I don't need to tell everybody what I need to forgive what comes up in my mind. I don't need to spread the bad memory to others and be a stumbling block to them. A little leaven can go throughout the whole dough. Scriptures can flow together and create word pictures in my mind.

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 16 "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.                             Matthew 6: 14-21 (NIV)

      What is worse? Me not forgiving others and God not forgiving me!!!!!! How often are we told this? Or, realize it?  I can tell from experience that it steals the joy of living for God when we don't forgive others. It hinders us from so many things God has for us. It sidetracks us from investing an eternal investment with God.

     It just hit me when I speak about eternal investments. When I say that I think only of heaven. Yet, it just hit me that everybody is making eternal investments the the other place is not heaven. God keeps track of what we do and we will face judgement day. I tend to get so busy with and forget about it. Yes, I can go through periods of living life in a thought of what if Jesus comes today or my time is up on earth. There are few times here and there when it looks like an interesting moment ahead of me in life I do my best to confess up and seek God's direction for the minutes ahead.

      God is not blind. Yet, I must be faithful in forgiveness due to it hurts me if I don't. Why would I want to compound hurt in my life from others by hurting myself and not to forgive them?  Bitterness creeps in a from of stress in which health problems can follow in our bodies.  Sin and going away from God does not help our health bodies either. Why would I want to allow the enemy that much power in my life. Repeatedly we are encouraged by scripture and example in the Bible to confess, put our Faith in God, claim scripture promises, and let him deal with issues. Vengence is his job as ours is to forgive. Fortunately, he is slow to his wrath due to I am not perfect too. I can mess up too. Lack of forgiving can cause me to mess up by striking out instead of letting God take care of it in his timing and just ways.

     If I don't Forgive how can I eternally invest well in heaven?  More importantly, I need God's forgiveness more than anything. I want his forgiveness so much more than his wrath. Without humbling and repentance on my part to recieve forgiveness from God on my part, life on earth could be wasted compared in eternally investing well in heaven.

     Making money easy is a concept many are into as they think  it may make them happy. Yet, what is done to gain this money? No amount of money spent will keep you living a quality life forever here on earth. Yes, you can pay for plastic surg. and other medical procedures that may extend life a little more. Yet, medicine is practice which means things go wrong. Infection can destroy like sin in a person's life. What does all  the money you can make count when you lose your soul for all eternity? Look at the ages on  tombstones to tell that death can strike at any age.

     Investing? If so, where? Heaven!!! What??? How? Your life.... time.... actions.... anybody can!!!!

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  

 22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.                                        Colossians 3: 17, 22-25 (NIV)

    Who would want to waste a lifetime here on earth that is referred to as a breath in eternity? I don't!!! I waste time and do things without thinking what I do at times. I just get caught up in routine of life not realizing I need to give thanks to God for what he has given me in so many ways. I  take things for granted and lose focus when I get discouraged or tired at times. It is not always true due to I do seek and keep my focus to pray without ceasing while talking to God as I go through a day like he is next to me at times. Living alone allows you to do this without being accused of having mental conditions  unless you pray in your  head quietly.  Yet, I still get distracted from where I want to be and don't realize it at times.

    In High School these scriptures hit home when I started to become frustrated with what I saw  happpening around me. Temptations were swirling around me in enticement to join those around me to just settle ideas and then life would be easier in ways in my own church youth group at church and social settings. Why stand for Godly values? I don't need to go into details in that part of life due to youth these days are tempted with so much more at a early age compared to what I was and compared to what is considered normal in the world's eyes for youth to be doing. What caused the most frustration was what was being done and covered up at church like it was no big deal and it didn't matter. You could get by with things in church and still be popular at church. As a youth I was so confused as to what was truly being worshipped at church when I hear told one thing and see another happen. What is real? Is church suppose to be different?  I thank God so much for especially my Father and Grandmother seeing my frustration in my eyes and pulling me to aside to really talk truth about faith, God, and how to live it. Praise God that there were other people older than myself God put along the way to help encourage deeper than just superficially.

    My Grandmother showed me this chapter of Colossians and it was not until in High School did I understand more about the word "slave" until I read Uncle Tom's Cabin as book we read in class. No it was not a "Christian" book by classification but God used that charactor "Uncle Tom" to help me understand the captivity of a slave in bad conditions still working with charactor and hope. A slave does not have a freedom to chose a better life at times but must endure under various conditions. Plus, during that time in  high school I found out that the "churches" in the South would claim these slaves in the South did not have souls and subhuman so they could stand by and do nothing as "Christians" from what was going on. Words? Actions? What men say to justify sin even if they are "church" leadership???  You know, I realized in High School with those who took time to deeply encourage me in my faith and as I sought God alone that this has been an age old problem including the time in the Bible with the Jewish leaders and Jesus with actions and words. Also, slavery differs from place to place in extrementies from being well treated like family members to the other extreme. Yet, slaves were mentioned which drove home God loves us all no matter what position in life he has us.

    Favoritism has been a interesting thing to watch. It is amazing how money that helps develope a name can create it in even a church to let corruption flourish. As one watches it without viewing it through love, forgiveness, and thanking God for what is going on in their own life it can be very discouraging. Yet, God is not blind in his true church made up of sincere believers in Him to when we meet him on Judgement day. Yet, things also happen on earth and God does help defend those who love him as they follow His words in action.

     In whatever we do as those beautiful verses encourage us to we can have our whole days to be glorifying unto to God if we apply these scriptures no matter where we are at in life. We work unto God with our whole heart to glorify God even if the man in leadership above us is evil no matter the location due to our lives are an example of sharing the Gospel by our actions as those can see the difference that Jesus Christ makes in ones life. Man's reward/recognition/acceptance/etc on earth is not what we are to seek but  God's reward. There are other scriptures that encourage us further God will provide for us.

    We can't lose sight in how and why we do things on this earth!  Conversion is not just saying a prayer one day,  join a social club, and not grow in a personal relationship with Jesus as you live in the world's way. Sharing the Gospel is more than just saying a few words but it consists of our daily living and choices we make. Sheep/goat/wheat/tares!!!!

    I needed to be reminded of this myself. Running across these scriptures..... is encouragement I need..... brought back sweet memories of fellowship......... we all need sincere Godly fellowship.  Do we take time to encourage those younger/weaker in faith or just keep to our busy lives?  God blesses me with guidence in many forms as I seek him in life. Look at what fruit is being produce.

     Sometimes with my sleep schedule and work I sorta make five days out of a normal seven day week. Yet that kind of behavior does catch up with me. As I wake, I wonder what did I accomplish and who for?  Yet, do I listen to pressure from people to keep doing whatever they ask of me as I push myself more than I should? I find that people will totally use you and throw you away after you meet their wants not even needs. At times, I can be busy with those on more of the fringe of my life and miss time with those that could really need and value the time I have here on earth. I must keep my focus on God to let my time count for something rather be wasted on this earth.

     I spent so many years of my life reading and studying but not actually living in ways. I can have book knowledge but do I love people or just have empty words like so many can have around me. I don't want to have empty words or puffed up knowledge. Yet, at times I still find that I do as I push myself in other areas and don't have time to do what I say in others.

    Do I speak just to hear myself speak? I want to experience what I know and not just take another one's word on it that it is good and right. We who have sincere faith and personal relationship with God make up the body of Christ with many roles and functions. We also have places in the body. If a foot was located above the shoulder what good would it do there? It would lose it's function as a foot. It would become useless. A foot needs to be located at the foot location to be fully functioning to the to the best of its ability even if it smells at times. The shoulder area could encourage the foot area to come to the shoulder area thinking they are so important area to be in but it defeats the functioning body of Christ here on earth.

    I'm tired of hearing man tell things only to manipulate it for their own glory. Yet, don't worry women can be so manipulating too. I want to have a geninune relationship with God without the pollution of man in it with lies and empty actions. Oh, I'm not scared of work but I don't want empty busy work just to glorify man. I want what I do to glorify God even it is just to clean up another's vomit. It does not need to be a glorious, popular, or spectacular but whatever it is to glorify God.

    Jesus was an example of a servant while he was on earth not as a glorius king with riches and riding in chariots speaking in beautiful buildings. In scripture it talks about the world's value system and heaven's is different. There are people who seek such power here on earth that will fade so quickly compared to all eternity. Yet, what was Jesus while he was here on earth. God's son, creator of the universe, controlling the universe yet so humble, passionate, yet with such authority here on earth. It blows my mind as I try to think about that.

Scripture and prayer refreshing...

3We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. 4Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.

 5All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. 6God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 8He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power 10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.

 11With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 12We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.                                2 Thessolonians 1:3-12 (NIV)

       So many wonderful things in this passage. Praying for others that we all will be worthing of God's calling and give us his power to do he wants us to do as our faith grows. If we have a friend or family member, prayer is something we can do to build them up over our human words we can come up with. God is right and watches what happens to us. We are not alone out there as we share God's Word to others and live for God.

      A cousin asked me to pray for her and lift her up claiming scripture for her so she can have God's wisdom and love in the choices she makes in her life. She has lived her life friendly to anybody she meets.  I could go on saying good things about her as it is wonderful to have fellowship with someone like her in your life. Does she tell me what she would want for Christmas or Birthday? No, she asks for prayers of claiming scripture for her life and what areas she is into. Yet, she does the same for other she prays for. Yet some of the kindest words I can say about her is that she uses her life like a vessel that God works through as she produces fruits of the spirit as she lives on earth. He blesses her and she blesses others as God's love flows through her to others as she is friendly to all. Being friendly to all can be interesting as God does help us with wisdom in that area as we get older.  

    God has given us many scripture promises in the Bible. In our prayers he still speaks to us today if we take the time to humble ourselves and listen. I know I fail at that in being too busy with life. I get too busy to pray like I know I need to for others and even what I do or say. Despite failing in a areas I continue to repent as I ask for forgiveness when I pray to help me seek further.  We all can mess up and fall but do we seek God again for help or get discourage by not turning our focus back on God only to focus on how we fail instead. There are so many promises we don't even claim to help us in scripture. I forget to pray for those like I  should. Yet, overtime of my life I do see improvments. Yet, as I see growth I see so much more growth there can be. Again, we need to pray for each other as my cousin has asked me to do for her.